I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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