I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I touched a dick in church today
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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