She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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