Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
someone owes me an orgasm
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
