I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so much tequila, so little girl.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
