I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
