i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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