i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How naked do you want me to be?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
