so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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