I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
