Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
