if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
