DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just found a bag of teeth...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
