just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
