Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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