So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My balls are so social today.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
