do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
