just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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