these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Success! We fucked roommates!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
