It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This is classic penis vs brain.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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