she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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