ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
