whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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