apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize