i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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