They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
