Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
