Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
