It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
