i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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