How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize