vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
