I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
