And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
