he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
