your thong is hanging out like whoa
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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