Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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