shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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