I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
