i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
