I can tuck mytits in my pants
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
