how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
