I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
