i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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