Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
