): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
