Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
