he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just got carded by a ten year old.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Send help, water and tortillas.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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