im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
did i walk over a car last night?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
