i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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