using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
