i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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