did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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