I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
