i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize