There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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