She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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