All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
