Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
